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Category: How Do You…
Big family logistics can be complicated. This is how I do it!
On this lovely Mother’s Day I wanted to say a few words to show my gratitude for all of the wonderful women in my life and around me everyday.
Beautiful women of the planet I see you.
To the older mother, I see you. I see you growing in wisdom and in years. I see you suffering with the affects of an aging body and struggling through disease and hardship and loss. I also see your heart, I see how much you love. I see the results of many years of service and care. I see the loneliness for days gone by. I see you waiting for your children and grandchildren to visit. I see you accomplished in many talents and skills eager and willing to share what you know. I see your example and am so grateful for the gift I was given to be taken care of by you. I see you and I love you.
To the single woman, I see you. I see you in your successes in your professions and with your families. I see you nurturing so many people around you. I see you taking care of your loved ones. I see you making family out of friends. I see you rescuing souls. My heart reaches out to you in your lonely moments. I see you and I love you.
To the childless mother, I see you. I see you in your willingness to sacrifice so much. I see your aching for something more, but still finding fulfillment in life in every way you can. I see you smile and bring joy to those around you. I see you taking great care. I see you and I love you.
To the single mother, I see you. I see you working overtime to provide for your family. I see you working overtime at home to be everything to your kids. I see the blood, sweat, and tears you give and sacrifice everyday to give your family a better life. I see how large your heart is. I see how tired you are. I see how much you could use a pat on the shoulder, some encouragement, and some love. You are so strong. I see you and I love you.
To the mother of small children, I see you. I see you give so much of yourself. I see you devote your everything to keeping them fed, clean, educated, and happy. I see your loneliness for adult attention and a little recognition. I see you feeling like you’ve lost so much of your individuality through the many needs of the little people around you. I see you trying your best but feeling underachieved. I think you have achieved more than you will ever know. You are growing your heart to be a solid source of love and no one can ever take that away from you. I see you and I love you.
To the mother of teenagers, I see you. I see you being drained of your emotional energy in teaching your kids to regulate their emotions. I see you worry for their choices and consequences. I see you spending a lifetime in the car going between various activities when you have so many things at home that need to be done. I see you feeding so many mouths as your kid’s friends come over so much. I see you aching for the child you used to cuddle, and now you are lucky to see them before bed at night. You are still your family’s everything. You are still the glue that binds them and gives them a foundation to stand on. I see you and I love you.
To the working mother, I see you. I see how much you give of your time to everyone. I see how organized and amazing you are. I see how much you can get done with so little time for everything. I see your jobs well done and your children well raised. I see how you long for some more time in a day. I see how much you can do and I am in awe. I see you and I love you.
To the mother of a large family, I see you. I see how you serve. I see how you spread your attention to so many people all at once. I see how you multitask. I see how big your heart is. I see how you struggle for “me” time. I see how much you are adored and appreciated. You are building a beautiful army for good. You are so good. I see you and I love you.
I have so many women in my life that fit into all of these categories and we all move through many of these categories. We are all so strong. We all do so much good. We all sacrifice and serve so much. We are the ones that can bring love to the world. We are the mothers that shape the future. Love is always needed. We can feel successful in the legacy of love we leave behind. I love to be a woman, and I love to be a mother.
Happy Mother’s Day!
If you know me very well you know that I love to decorate one room in my house at Christmas to be my Jesus room. I have all the nativities I have collected over the years displayed in here. I also have a tree that is decorated with symbols of Christ and pictures from his life. My sister-in-law made me a beautiful felt nativity scene that has 25 pieces to count down to the holiday and by the last day the scene is complete. All of these are favorites at my house at Christmas time. Of course, another room has stockings and snowmen and village sets and a Christmas tree decorated with all the fun ornaments we have collected over the years or our children have made. I love both rooms; but, today I wanted to focus on this new item that was added to my Jesus room and the new tradition that goes with it.
http://www.christwaslove.etsy.com
My good friend, Kristina, has done all the leg work for me. She has commissioned new art and found a scripture to go with 25 days counting up to Christmas. I thought about many different ways I could use this. I could use it teaching a lesson at church or during Family Home Evening and just shoot them all at the same time. I could just use it as a decoration and flip the cards over as we counted down. Or I could try to incorporate it into something my family is already doing. I decided to try and incorporate it into something my family is already doing and I’m really hoping it will help bring the spirit of the true meaning of Christmas into our whole month of December.
For several years now, my family does a nightly devotional. It is more than just family prayer. Each night we each take a turn to tell everyone something happy from our day and something sad. It is a great conversation point and helps us all to be deeply invested in each other’s lives. We also get an insight into the emotional state of our children and in general what is happening with them at school. It is a good practice for everyone to do a quick review of the day. I think we appreciate the days we are given more when we take a moment to reflect on all that happened in 24 hours. We also have more gratitude as we are forced to think of something good that happened even on bad days. And we gain empathy for each other when we see that everyone has to deal with something from the day that didn’t go quite right. It is one of my favorite parts of the day.
Next, we read or memorize scriptures. With such a young family we usually have a scripture for the week that we work on memorizing. If we have more time or as the kids get older we can incorporate more time into family scripture study. Of course, this doesn’t replace personal scripture study. It’s fun to see the kids hear scriptures in church, during a talk or something, and then they will look over at me with wide eyes and knowing looks. They’ve heard that one before, and they recognize it. Their little brains are being formed with God’s word and there is nothing better to influence them. We then end with a family prayer.
For Christmas time, with my new scripture advent calendar, we will use the scriptures on the back of each card for our nightly scripture. I’m so excited about this because I really think it will help my kids focus on the true meaning of Christmas nightly before they go to bed. We can pass around the card with the picture on it and quickly discuss what the picture and scripture are about. We are already in a good habit of doing a verse or two every night so it won’t be a huge strain to add this in and make it consistent. I didn’t have to put much time and effort into figuring out what would best go next and finding art to keep the kids interested. The best part is it does make a good decoration for my Jesus room and it is something that can last for many years as a tradition while my kids are growing. It seems like it would make a great gift for my kids as they go off to live on their own. A tradition that can be handed down to their children. We will keep Christ in our hearts and at Christmas. What better way to bring your children up right, then to bring them up as stewards of our Savior? I can’t wait for Kristina to do all the work for me again and make an Easter advent calendar!
What traditions does your family do?
In the busy world we live in it is hard to find the balance of chores, homework, extra-curricular activities, and free time to just play. I believe chores do make children more responsible and less entitled. But, it is not as common for children to be raised on a farm where they have to work in order to eat. So many of their friends are not held to much expectation except maybe to go to school. Some families are so over scheduled they aren’t home to do chores anyway. There can be a lot of whining from kids that parents just don’t want to deal with. Sometimes it is easier for mom to just do it herself. What’s the answer? I don’t have all the answers but I can offer a few ideas that have worked for us over the years.
There are many chore charts and reward systems out there to explore. I encourage you to explore them all! I have found that I have to change it up often for my kids. It helps to motivate them to do chores for me again.
We started with simple things when they were young. Melissa and Doug make a fun little magnetic chore chart that you might like with little pictures and simple tasks.
My younger kids also really enjoyed a bead jar. We picked up some aquarium rocks that people put in vases because I wanted something heavy enough not to tip the container over easily but also big enough that kids wouldn’t be swallowing them. I also wanted them big enough to fill a jar fairly quickly because a toddler has a hard time waiting very long for a reward for chores. Every time they obeyed or did a chore they got to put a bead in the jar. When the jar was full we did a family activity together. This encouraged the kids to work together for a family goal and was useful for toddlers that don’t understand money yet and already have too many toys.
As they got older and enjoyed the computer more we loved using http://myjobchart.com/. This free website lets you set up chores for your kids and assign a point value. Your kids can go online or use the free app on their device or yours to mark that they have completed a task. Once they reach the points you have assigned for the week you have the option of rewarding them with different things, including linking to your amazon account to help them buy a toy, with your permission of course! We really enjoyed using this method before a trip to Disneyland several years ago. We agreed that we would buy them a souvenir at the park according to how many points they earned. It worked like a charm.
In recent years, my friend introduced me to plexiglass. Not only can it be used like a white board, but it can easily blend in with your walls and is lightweight to hang with command strips. If you use white board markers, it wipes right off. If you use permanent markers you can go over the writing with a white board marker and then it will come off too. This made a handy way to have a cute decoration on the wall that was actually a useful chore chart.
When school started for my kids we invented the term mini chore. They hated doing chores everyday and there really are some household chores (like cleaning a bathroom) that only need to be done by the kids once a week. Still, it helped to have the routine of them doing daily chores, but they were overwhelmed with homework and the amount of time away from home at school. So we told them they only had to do small things durning the week and called them mini chores. It’s stuff that can be done in two minutes or less, like emptying the garbage or rotating laundry. They know they are quick and don’t mind doing them to earn their media time.
Most recently my kids have been interested in earning money. I don’t think kids should earn an allowance just for existing. That is not how real life works. Kids should work to earn money. Learning to earn and save money is definitely an important life skill. So I decided to add money earning chores to our regular chores. Saturday chores and mini chores as well as keeping up their personal space are all requirements for living in our home and getting certain privileges. But, there are some extras that can earn them money. I decided to keep track of their earnings with a tally chart so I only had to pay out when they have earned enough to make it worth running to the bank for cash. Each tally is worth a quarter and the chores have money assignments. They aren’t required to earn money. It is up to them.
We used this method for our most recent Spring break and it really helped our staycation be fabulous!
It will be interesting to see where our chore adventure takes us as the kids become teenagers. Do you have some great ideas that have worked for your family? Please comment below and let us know!
Family dinner time is supposed to be a special time, right? Yea, well, it doesn’t feel too special when the kids can’t stop commenting on how gross the food is. It’s especially fun when their is a lot of whooping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. No amount of bribing and reasoning can get my kids to eat. They will gag and cry and go on and on about how this is the worst day of their life. It doesn’t matter how much time I spent making the meal. It doesn’t matter if they have had it before. It doesn’t matter if it only contains things that they like. There is a predestined order to the universe that tells children to dislike any food placed before them. Unless of course it’s candy; they’ll eat that without complaint. I just can’t bring myself to serve that for dinner.
Well, one day, as I was wrestling with my toddler to take just one, itsy, tiny bite, my husband says to my toddler, “Do you want to play a game?” Instant quiet. Tears stopped. Full attention. Head nods.
Geesh. I just spent twenty minutes trying to get this kid to eat and just like that my husband has him practically lick the plate clean. Really? Really? I give up. Sometimes I hate when daddy knows best.
It’s his job to make the kids eat now. As we have added more kids and kids grew, he added more games. They still work, just like that first time. The older kids still play. And just because I like you and care about your sanity, I’m going to give you a list of our top ten favorite dinner games. Pretty soon, your toddler will be eating out of your hands too.
- Magic Fork. Every fork is magic. Especially when it is loaded and daddy closes his eyes. That’s it. Load the fork, close your eyes, and see if the fork has somehow become magic and makes the food disappear. Your kid will get a kick out of fooling you.
- Don’t eat me. Every time your kid takes a bite, a piece of you disappears in a shirt or behind mommy. My husband even sticks his whole head in his shirt as the kids are getting more and more into the game. Of course, once they have eaten you bite by bite, they have to restore you bite by bite. You can get a lot of bites that way.
- Go fish. Let him get off his seat and hide under the table. Daddy holds the fork over the edge to see if any fish are biting. They are.
- Run and touch. One of my kids couldn’t sit still to save his life, so the run and touch something and come back for a bite game was invented. It helps toddlers with vocabulary like washing machine too. Just pick random things around the house for them to run and touch and then come back for a bite. They love it. It makes them tired. It makes them eat. Win. Win.
- Rock, paper, scissors. Everyone knows how to play this game. Play rock paper scissors and whoever loses the round has to take a bite. Sometimes my husband says, you won so take a bite. It works. They don’t really care if they win or lose to take a bite, they just like to play the game.
- Basic math. As your child gets older, they can start practicing their basic math facts by a variation on the rock paper scissors game. Instead of showing a rock or paper, have your kid hold up some of their fingers. You also hold up a few fingers. Whoever can add them the fastest, wins. The loser has to take a bite. If they really hate eating, they get really fast at math facts. Still a win.
- Execution line. Line up the bites on the table and give every food item a name of someone in the family. Look away. When a family member disappears, guess which one got executed first. They love to trick you.
- Eat like an animal. If your kid loves to pretend to be an animal, what better time than meal time. Can they take a bite like a dinosaur? How would a cat take a bite? I always knew I lived in a zoo.
- Guess what’s missing. If your kid needs help eating more than one item, close your eyes while they take a bite and see if you can figure out which food went missing. If you can figure that out pretty well, try guessing how many bites of each thing they took. They will fool you with extra bites, guaranteed.
- Bite story. If your kids love stories, they will love this game. Start a fun story about anything, then just when things get exciting, stop and make them take a bite to continue. “The wolf huffed and puffed and… oh you need to take a bite to find out what happened.” They won’t want to be left hanging and you can get some kindergarten homework done at the same time.
My kids still like to play these games with each other even if they are old enough to eat without convincing. The older ones will even help the younger ones so that I can have an actual conversation with my hubby at the dinner table. The struggle remains real. Every toddler we raise has to be taught to eat a variety of foods. But hey, at least the fight is a fun memory instead of a tearful one. I would call that success!
